Flashing Lights

Another close call diverted.  Every time Blyght hears the sirens she grabs the cheese whiz and heads for the Panic Room.  She has been extra nervous this week because of all the paper games going on down at the Crimex.  Keep your physical held tight in strong hands and don't forget to Buy the Fucking Dip.  This is Blyght's Mom, over and out.

You take Advil, I take Everything...

I just took 2 Valtrex, 3 Adderall, 6 Xanax, 80 MG of Oxycontin, and a Propecia for no apparent reason at all. If Blyght ruins my high again I'm going to draw a bath, fill it with Mr Bubbles, turn on some Katy Perry, and pretend I'm the Dull Care of Osama as I sink below the water line.

Hee Haw from Bretton Woods

Bretton Woods was such a bore.  First of all we were supposed to be booked for a Luxury Family Suite, but of course they fucked that up.  We ended up in the Princess Carolyn Room where I had to share a single queen bed with My Little Bed Hog.  Blyght insisted that Princess Carolyn's original 4 poster bed was the perfect opportunity to invite her coven over for a night of room service and "calling the corners".  She called BB, Barry, and Barry on her iPhone 6 and told them she would drawing a bath.  I was glad that I had a date lined up.  Justin and I (Timberlake not Bieber) had an 8pm reservation at "The Dining Room".  Dinner was nice, but when Justin found out I had been two-timing him with Chord Overstreet he dumped me and I started to cry.  He broke out in special rendition of "Cry Me a River" and left "The Dining Room".  I headed back to our room.  I ended up losing a glass slipper on the way in a desperate attempt to avoid a run in with Hill and Bill.  When I got back to my room my key wouldn't work.  I am sure that Blyght demagnetized while I was getting ready so that I wouldn't interrupt her little seance.  Well after all I had been through I wasn't having it.  I kicked the door in with my one bare foot to find Blyght, BB, Barry, and Barry all perched upon separate bedposts while an undisclosed person or entity was gyrating between the sheets.  I ran into the bathroom and locked the door.  I ended up sleeping in the bathtub where I had to use a washcloth as a pillow and a towel for my blanket.  I did not hear much about what happened at the meetings but I did overhear My Little Mover and Shaker talking about Soros changing our currency from fiat to a currency back by Gigi's Gourmet Cupcakes.  Aside from the news about the cupcakes, it was all so horrible.  I may not even attend Bilderberg this year.